I Need a Fake Lover and Darling You're the Only One I Can Think Of
by SweetMelloJello
Summary: "Okay, so let me explain!" Hanji feigned casual laughter as she momentarily studied the angery flames that flickered in Mikasa's eyes. "Eren said he was gay as a cover up, so I provided him with Levi as a fake lover!" Hanji expounded in attempts to build the walls that would induce Mikasa to leave the two be. She wasn't persuaded as her glare only narrowed, "I'm gonna kill them."
1. Chapter 1: It's Okay To Be Gay

Chapter 1: It's Okay To Be Gay

Let's ignore the fact that the title lacks commas, I think. Ohoho, I can predict the future and I already know that this story will be a fail. No one ever said I won't try though.

So pretty much Eren and Levi are fake lovers because Eren told a girl who liked him that he's gay cuz he didn't wanna be rude and completely shut her down. Also, I have no idea where I'm going with this. I'm just taking the idea and running with it, so please run with me? Actually, no. I hate running. Lets walk, dear.

If you hate highschool!AU's with a passion, then I suggest you leave. Characters like Eren, Mikasa, and Armin are sophomores or juniors I guess, and Hanji and Levi are seniors... Ah, I don't know. I didn't think any of this out.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Attack on Titan... I wish I did though ;A;

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"They did what?"

"Okay, if you just ook the time to _listen_ to me, then maybe things won't sound as bad as they seem," Hanji said as she attempted to ease the furious girl's mood. This all wasn't some dalliance that took place behind Mikasa's back. It had reason... at least, that's how Hanji felt towards it all.

Hanji quickly stepped to her right, effectively blocking the shorter girl's once again futile attempt to reach the door behind the bespectacled woman. Mikasa glared up at her, eyes flashing with fury. Hanji went adamant in her motives though as she was determined to not allow Mikasa to reach that door behind herself. If that ever happened, then Hanji was a thousand percent sure that not only would Levi and Eren become victims of an angry tirade, but also of murder, and Hanji didn't feel like being interrogated by detectives as to who exactly committed the crime.

"Just listen!" Hanji reiterated as she grabbed Mikasa by the shoulders as said girl once again attempted to make for the door. Hanji hoped the angry glare shot her way wouldn't be the last thing she saw as she bid farewell to life. "I can explain everything, okay?"

Mikasa's tense muscles visibly eased as a dubious look flashed on to her usually stoic countenance. Mikasa allowed herself to retrograde from Hanji's simple touch as she evaluated the older girl's expression. Hanji's usual exuberant look was now simmered down and replaced by... uneasiness? More like a need to establish calamity.

Mikasa was still pissed, and Hanji was very much aware of that by the way a metaphoric flame fueled by anger flickered in her eyes, and by the way her fists were clenched and ready to swing due to the sole reason of being vexed. The silence that impregnated the air was enough to warrant Hanji to explain the issue. "Eren and Levi are dating."

Those specific words constructed into that very sentence seemed to trigger something in Mikasa's brain as she lunged for the door.

Hanji caught the stiff girl in her hold as she struggled to pull Mikasa back. It was a lot more difficult than it seemed though as Mikasa visibly added force to her lunge for her current endeavor was to kill.

"It's not as bad as you think!" Hanji insisted as she eased the girl back to a normal standing posture rather than a predatory leap to commit homicide. Vigilant eyes scanned her for any foreboding breaks for the exit. "Okay, so let me explain!" Hanji feigned casual laughter as she momentarily studied the angery flames that flickered in Mikasa's eyes. "Eren said he was gay as a cover up, so I provided him with Levi as a fake lover!" Hanji expounded in attempts to build the walls that would induce Mikasa to leave the two be.

Mikasa obviously wasn't persuaded as her glare only narrowed, "I'm gonna kill them."

"But before you do that!" Hanji cut in curtly, hands instinctively going up in reason. "Can't I just give you the full story?"

Mikasa didn't look like she cared to hear a whole novel as her eyes darted behind Hanji. The resonating sound of Hanji clearing her throat brought Mikasa's eyes back up to the grinning woman.

"Can't I just explain?" Hanji figured she would before Mikasa was once again assailed by anger. In a way, Hanji didn't blame her. Everything was kind of held behind her back in high hopes that she wouldn't find out, so Mikasa's tolerance for said ordeal being easily snapped like a taut string was understandable. Hanji hoped to remedy this little issue and to just go on with living.

The brunette cracked her knuckles as if she was ready to embark on an arduous journey across the lands. "Also, Eren told me tons about the whole thing, so I'm sure his story will be incorporated into this well enough," Hanji said as she nodded in acknowledgment to that bit. "Though, Levi's side is limited..." Hazel eyes flickered back to Mikasa from behind thin glass barriers. "Okay, um..." the bespectacled woman tried to procure the correct words in order to mitigate the punishment that Levi and Eren would sooner or later be faced with. "It all started out when Eren told me he was gay."

"What?" Mikasa's inquisitive eyes fixated on Hanji at the choice of words.

"Okay, okay. It all started out when Eren _lied _about being gay..."

xXx

"Hanji!"

Said brunette nearly lost her balance as a newfound weight was added to her form. "What? What is it?" Hanji frantically inquired, successfully pulling herself away from the anxious boy that was her friend. She didn't mind seeing him, but she knew she would have preferred a simple "hello" in lieu of the tackle she had just recieved.

She flattened out the wrinkles of her coat as she continued walking, expecting her friend to follow suit. "What are you so worked up about," she mumbled as her slender fingers delved into the warmth of her coat pocket, double checking for her much needed bus fare.

"Ah, I need help." Eren muttered, sea green eyes flickering up to catch a glimpse of the swaying ponytail messily tied on Hanji's head.

"Help you say?" Hanji felt that she would have been lying to herself and others if she didn't admit that her curiosity was piqued. "What for?" Her hands moved up as she gripped the soft tendrils of her own hair and tugged, tightening her ponytail. "Don't you usually go to Armin?"

"Well, you see..." Eren's voice trailed off, seemingly caught in the wind as his eyes flickered to the cracked concrete beneath their feet. "I can't exactly go to Armin for this."

Hanji felt like her curiosity meter was boosted. "Oh?" Her eyebrows raised in question as her inquisitive hazel eyes caught a fleeting glimpse behind herself. "Why not?"

For a moment, Eren looked lost, like replying to Hanji's question measured to the same difficulty as requesting an impromptu performance. It took a moment for him to think for he seemed to be caught on a loss for words. "Well, Armin can't know." Eren paused before he quickly added on, "About what I'm gonna tell you, that is. Because if I tell him, he'll surely tell Mikasa."

Hanji felt a grin paint on to her thin lips as her eyes continued to focus on the sidewalk ahead of her. The once densely packed throng of rowdy highschool students was now thinned out into a few students here and there mixed with various wandering citizens. Things had grown mundane and Hanji found herself getting really bored really fast. She needed something to entertain herself and it seemed like Eren was unintentionally providing her with that need. "Go on," the brunette encouraged as her pace slowed to a stop. She watched as Eren himself nearly walked into the bus stop sign before he quickly caught the sight before him and halted in his tracks.

Said teen sighed, blowing a thick lock of hair out of his face before his eyes fixated on the intrigued brunette before him. She seemed very much interested on hearing the crux of Eren's worries if her wide grin and encouraging eyes were anything to go by. Eren took that as a green light to present the issue. "I lied and said I was gay."

Hanji had half a mind to say "You aren't?" but bit her tongue because she knew that if she let those words slip, Eren would probably keep quiet about his issue and sit there in frustration as he tried to remedy the problem himself. Hanji knew he obtained the stubborn qualities to do so. "Why?" Came Hanji's one worded question as her eyes scanned the street for any upcoming buses, in hopes that it would be hers.

"Because a girl likes me."

"Whaaat?" Hanji felt her jaw drop as her gaze darted to Eren, momentarily ceasing her road watching. "Eren, a girl likes you!" Hanji declared obviously. "Rejoice!" The bespectacled girl laughed as Eren cautiously took a step away from the apparently crazed woman. "You don't need to avoid her! Do you think that she's that ugly as to were you feel the need to lie about your sexuality?" Hanji's laughter eased down to a simple snickering taking place behind her hand. "For shame."

"No! It's not like that!" Eren retorted defensively. He sighed, form visibly deflating. "She was too persistent. Hanji, if you were there, you would know." The anxiety was evident in Eren's tone, and for a second Hanji felt sympathy before the feeling was quickly washed away by amusement.

"Girls will be when they're trying to pursue the ones they love." Hanji said as she nodded to herself, like she had just given the world substantial information. "Okay, okay. Just tell me, what happened?"

The next words that came out of Eren's were so jumbled and let out so quick, Hanji felt unsure as to whether or not they were speaking the same language as of now.

"Ha," Hanji let out a nervous chuckle that casual laughter was meant to be in place of. "In English, please?"

Eren took a moment to procure the words he needed as he slowed down his jumbled wording. "A girl in one of my classes likes me and kept asking me out, so I tried to tell her sorry, and that I didn't know her too well. She insisted we'd get to do that in our relationship as it progressed," Eren paused to take a breath from his rambling before he quickly went on. "Then I asked 'Why me?' and she went all Bruno Mars."

"But your eyes do make the stars look like they're not shining."

That earned Hanji a death glare courtesy of Eren.

"Okay. Sorry, sorry. Go on." Hanji apologized, although her words weren't laced with any real sincerity.

Eren's narrowed eyes shifted back in front of himself. "Then I tried letting her down easy, but she just wouldn't let me and before I knew it I was gay." Eren's eyebrows scrunched up in his own confusion before he figured to re-word that last bit. "I mean, before I knew it I _lied_ about being gay."

Hanji grinned, "I'm not seeing the problem."

"How aren't you?" Eren asked, eyes wide in question and worry. He gave a resigned sigh, mentally preparing himself to just ask Hanji of this one simple, yet embarrassing, request. Instead of saying anything, he found himself rolling around in his own inner turmoil as he seriously questioned /why/ he said what he said.

Hanji stood there, staring at him with scrutinizing eyes in which, yes, did make Eren feel very uncomfortable. "So..." she did a small circular motion with her by the roll of her wrist, like a way to have Eren spit out the rest of his own little predicament.

Eren scratched the side of his face as glanced over at a tree. Since when were trees so interesting? All full of leaves and nature stuff. "Well, now she's determined to meet him." Eren glanced at the obviously intrigued Hanji beside himself. Again, he questioned his life choices. "Um, I kinda need help finding a fake boyfriend."

Hanji's eyes went wide like saucers due to her amused view on all of this. So _that's _why Eren couldn't tell Armin, because if he did, Armin was sure to tell Mikasa therefore ending in Mikasa killing Eren. Hanji snickered, earning a glower from her friend. "Okay, calm down." Hanji said, switching to an attempt at a soothing tone, in which she mentally noted that she failed miserably for vestiges of her previous amusement were still evident on her features. "Let me think." Her eyes shifted away from Eren as she feigned pensive thought, although she already had the answer. It didn't take her long to announce her solution. "I know what to do."

"You do?" Eren inquired, eyes questioning.

"Yep!" Hanji chirped. "I know exactly who your fake lover will be!"

Eren felt his stomach sink. He wasn't even sure if he could handle all his crazed friend and her odd ideas. Eren felt like he was chanting a mantra over and over in his head as he questioned everything about his own choices.

"Damn," she mumbled, going off topic from the situation at hand. Her eyes shifted away from her uneasy friend and on to the road in search of her needed ride. "Where's that bus at?"

"It passed by a long time ago," Eren mumbled, his words were shallow and his eyes still seemed like he was lost. Anyone could figure that he was still caught in his own web of why-the-hell-did-I-do-that. "You didn't wave it down,"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Hanji cried, hands flying up to grab her head in frustration.

"'Cause how else was I gonna get help if you left?"

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Bad chapter is bad. And rushed. And not proofread. I typed this up at three in the morning and yeah, I don't even know. I'm just making stuff up as I go along and I shouldn't even be starting another story when I haven't even updated my other one in like, a month or something ;w; So if the plot seemed badly set up and a bit odd, that's because I really didn't plan anything. I'm just going with it. Ha, maybe that's kind of a bad idea though! I should've thought things out a bit more. Oh well...

Did you love it? Hate it? Think it was total crap? Then say so in the reviews, my dear! Constructive criticism is always appreciated! Don't think I'm begging for reviews though. If you don't wanna leave one, then you don't have to. I can't tell you how to live your life s('-' )z xD

Also, if you've read this far, then thank you (forputtingupwithmybs)! Like I usually say, even if you don't review, fav, or follow this story, I still appreciate the fact that you took the time to read this! Thank you!

-SweetMelloJello


	2. Chapter 2: IOU

Chapter 2: IOU

Five faves, fourteen follows, and three reviews for the first chapter. I honestly only expected like maybe four or five follows and that was just me being optimistic. So for a small time fanfiction author like myself, this is a nice accomplishment. You guys are so kind! *gross sobbing* Thank you so much for taking your time to bother with this story! I know you may hear this often from other authors, but I'm so grateful! If you were here, I'd actually share one of those tear-and-share candies with you instead of keeping it to myself. That's how lovely you are.

You guys have successfully motivated me to immediately get started on another chapter! Which is yet another accomplishment because do you realize how long I usually take to update? I posted my first fic (which is a Hetalia USUK one cuz they are my babies uwu) here like October 2012 and didn't update until December 2013. That's how slow I am at updating. I have yet to update that last fic too ._. This fic here is kind of my way of avoiding on updating my other fic, haha, I am so horrible /shot

Disclaimer: I don't own Attack on Titan, but do you realize how bad I want AoT merch, videogames, doujin, etc.? I've seen so much cool things like that, and I'm like *heavy breathing* sO MUCH WANT.

*whispers* Also, this chapter is boring, so bare with me on this one.

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"I don't feel right about this."

Hanji grinned, popping another crispy fry in her mouth as she waved off Eren's concerns with a swift flick of her wrist. "Don't worry about it!" She reassured, reaching to grab the cold beverage at her right. "Everything will be fine!"

Eren gnawed at the bottom of his lip as he stared down the tray of fast food before him. Hanji told him that they would meet his "boyfriend" today at this overcrowded McDonald's. Eren could feel his opinions for his own choices sway as he thought more about the steps to remedy the issue. Maybe this was all just a bad idea, Eren figured. Maybe he should have just went out with the girl, or completely shut her down as to were everyone would deem him the bad guy. He felt that, that would be easier to cope with over meeting some stranger Hanji was suddenly reeling into his life.

"I feel bad about lying to Mikasa and Armin." Eren's sea green eyes darted up to Hanji, who was gingerly taking a long sip of her ice cold soda. "They wanted to hang out today."

Hanji was well aware that Eren didn't want either of his best friends to become acquainted with his current predicament. Eren had stressed that out enough to his bespectacled friend. Hanji felt no need to disobey Eren's simple request, but was much rather interested as to what would happen if the two _did _find out.

"They won't find out," Hanji said confidently, stirring the ice in her drink. "I bet you this will be over in a few days, tops."

The brunette's confident grin only eased Eren of a fifth of his worried stress and concerns. Hanji was always prolific with countless ideas, good and bad, and so Eren found himself wishing on a star that this one would be added to the list of the former. "Mikasa was suspicious though." It was true. The whole time Eren was getting ready to make his leave from their house, Mikasa stared him down with a scrutinizing look which only added to Eren's uneasiness. He knew that she was well aware that something was up, albeit she wasn't quite sure exactly what it was yet.

"You're acting like a cheating husband, just calm down." Hanji began unwrapping her second burger, in which Eren had yet to even touch his first. "No one is going to find out," the brunette reiterated as she took a large bite out of the appetizing sandwich. "So what, you had to lie. Sometimes you have to," she stated with a mouthful of food as she graced Eren with her words of wisdom. "I'll cover for you, and what they don't know won't kill them."

Eren gave a resigned sigh, seemingly caving in to Hanji's constant shots of reassurance to safety. "I suppose you're right," he mumbled, eyes trained on the untouched fries on his tray. Honestly, he wasn't even hungry, so he had no idea why he wasted his money ordering food he wasn't going to eat. He figured he'd probably give it to Hanji anyways, since she seemed to be overthrown by hunger if all her countless orders of food was anything to go by.

Eren pulled himself out of his own thoughts before his eyes shifted along the premises of the area, specifically the entrance. He felt his breath catch in his throat as the doors opened, only the new customer was a curvy, blonde woman, probably in her mid twenties. Obviously not the one they were waiting for. Eren sighed. "I'd at least hoped this guy would be a little bit punctual."

"Aw! Look at you, already pulling off the worried boyfriend act!" Hanji lamely swooned as a large grin painted her thin lips.

"No!" Eren immediately retorted, surprisingly startling himself at his own means of defense. "We've just been waiting a while."

Hanji only smirked as she turned around in her spot at their booth. "Well wait no more," declared the brunette, shooting a look of triumph at Eren. "He's here. Levi!" She called out, waving said person down.

Eren noted that this guy didn't look too friendly. His eyes were narrowed, and already always looked like they were judging everyone. And he didn't seem happy to be there either because he really didn't stroll in with a jaunty stride and ear-to-ear grin. That would have worried Eren just as much if that were the case.

As Levi neared the booth the two sat in, Eren more questioned everything about this issue. If Hanji really expected this guy to live up the role as Eren's fake boyfriend, then Eren was pretty uneasy as to what spurred her the idea. Just judging off of looks alone, this guy didn't seem like he'd wish to partake in anything like that. He seemed too level-headed, and mature, and serious, and-

"Who the hell is this brat?"

Eren's determination at having a cordial introduction was immediately shattered.

Hanji scoffed as Levi plopped down in the space next to her, stealing a fry in the process, and earning a pout from his friend due to the paltry food theft. "That's not how you greet new friends!" The brunette chided before she thought over her last sentence. "Ah, I mean boyfriend."

Levi seemed like he nearly choked on that single fry as he glared over at his crazy friend. "Boyfriend? What are you going on about, shitty glasses?"

Seriously? Eren wanted to slam his face into the table repeatedly, but opted not to because it was probably sticky and uncleansed. Had Hanji really not spoken anything of this matter to Levi? "Hanji!" Eren snapped, irritation evident in his tone as he narrowed his glare at the crazy brunette.

Hanji hummed to herself as she took another bite out of her burger, folding the wrapper a bit to access more of the sandwich. "Yes?" She replied, innocently.

"Where the hell is Irvin?" Levi cut in, gaze resting on Eren for a second before it shot back to Hanji.

"Okay, guys, calm down." She went to take another sip of her soda, only to find out that she had finished it, and only chunks of ice rested at the bottom of her cup. "I can only answer so many questio-"

"Where the hell is Irvin," Levi reiterated, tone deadly.

"Ah, well you see. For one thing, he isn't in a car accident."

"You lied about him being in a car accident?" Levi looked one hundred and ten percent done with Hanji's antics.

"Ah, no. He just healed really fast."

Levi was about to get up and leave before Hanji grabbed him by his sleeve, holding him in place as she stopped him in his tracks. "No, no, no. Just listen." Hanji feigned a lack of fear as, what Eren assumed was supposed to be a confident grin, slipped on to her lips as she tried to seem unfazed by Levi's glare. If looks could kill, then Eren figured his bespectacled friend would have been stricken dead by lightening, or lasers. "Eren here needs a fake boyfriend!"

Levi tried to leave again, but Hanji was adamant with determination. The brunette eased him back into the space in the booth beside herself. "Okay, listen to me." She crumpled up the wrapper of her finished burger as she dropped it on her tray. "I knew you wouldn't show up if I told you the real reason, so I had to come up with something."

Eren watched the exchange between the two, and by what he'd seen he'd figured Hanji lied in order to lure Levi to even show up in the first place. It seemed like the brunette was suicidal or in dire need of a death wish because she didn't give up on convincing Levi to stay, even if the only way she got him to arrive was by lying about a car accident.

Hanji was crazy. Hanji was a legit psychopath.

"Eren here needs our help," Hanji declared as she motioned to said teen. "Tell him."

Both Hanji's happy-go-lucky gaze and Levi's scrutinizing glare shifted to Eren. He felt as if he were called out on spot, or requested a pass without warning by a ball that managed to land a clean hit on his face. Eren gulped, the unwelcome feeling of uneasiness resurfaced within himself. "Um..."

"Aw! Don't be shy!" Hanji grinned and Levi looked ready to punch her. Once she realized Eren had yet to voice a word, Hanji took over. "He needs you to be his fake boyfriend 'cause a crazy girl has a crush on him, so he lied about being gay. That's were you come in since this crazy girl wants to meet his boyfriend."

Eren really figured that Hanji shouldn't label this girl as crazy. It wasn't like she had any room to talk.

"You're both idiots," Levi muttered, all to bluntly. "You lied to get me here only so I could be this desperate brat's fake boyfriend. Are you stupid?"

"Not entirely," Hanji said, clocking in her two cents. "Come on, Levi, please? You just have to meet the girl once, that's it! Then you're done. And you don't even have to pretend to be boyfriends while at school since we attend different ones."

Despite not saying a word since Levi's arrival, Eren felt really stupid due to where he had landed himself. Although Hanji was doing all of the talking, Eren kind of wished to back down on this idea.

"No," Levi deadpanned as he was seemingly set on his decision.

"Just help me out, please?" Eren hadn't noticed he even thought to speak those words until they spilled from his lips.

Immediately, Levi looked to Eren because really, Eren hadn't said much since Levi's arrival. "Why should I help you?"

Eren had to think about that for a second. He really had no idea why this guy should help him. The two had just met and from what he figured, Levi didn't even know he'd be meeting Eren because Hanji lied to him. "Because I'll help you when the time comes." Eren even knew himself that, that was more of a question rather than a legit reason.

"Really?" Levi snorted, "That's all you can think of? You really are a dumb brat."

"Levi, you're so mean!" Hanji cut in with a whine. "Just help him out! Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Damn it, I said no!" Levi snapped, growing livid once more. Eren was starting to think that was his only emotion because that was really all he was expressing at the moment.

"Pleeeaaase?" Hanji drew on, as if that would induce Levi to help. "Come on, I promise no harm will be done? Please, please, please?" Apparently she had gotten lucky with that one.

"Okay, fine! Just shut the hell up!" Levi ground his teeth as he glared at Eren. "I'll be the stupid brat's pretend boyfriend and meet that crazy girl."

Hanji whooped in triumph. "See, Levi! It wasn't that hard!"

Eren had yet to express delight though as Levi leaned in dangerously close to him, jabbing a finger to his chest. "But you, you brat, you owe me one."

Eren only nodded in what was fear and relief.

* * *

This chapter was pretty boring in my opinion and I can't exactly say that I'm proud of this one either. Actually, the ending was accidentally deleted so I had to rewrite it and I just got really lazy, like, ugh...

Constructive criticism is appreciated! So don't be afraid to give any advice on how I can improve! Also, I still have no clue where to go with this, so I am completely open for suggestions. The next chapter may take a bit though cuz I gotta figure out what I'm gonna do next .-. Trust me, I know just as much as you know about this story. Meaning I don't even know what's gonna happen next. And I still have to write the third chapter for my other fic. What have I gotten myself into?! *cries*

Like I've said before, thank you for taking the time to read this! Even if you don't review, fave, or follow, I still appreciate the fact that you've read this far! Thank you!

Also, I don't proofread cuz I'm a rebel. I also pour my milk before my cereal cuz I like to live my life on the edge. In other words, I'm too lazy to proofread, so sorry if there are any mistakes!

-SweetMelloJello


	3. Chapter 3: Practice Makes Perfect

Chapter 3: Practice Makes Perfect, But Sometimes It Also Makes Bruises

Thank you *cries* for taking the time *cries some more* to read my story *drowns in tears* You guys are lovely little flower babies and you continuously motivate me to go on with this story! Although it may not be super popular with sixty million reviews on one chapter, I am still happy with all the reviews, faves, and follows I get! Come here, lovely children, let me hug each of you.

Aw yea, gotta love follows. To some, it may not seem like much, but I appreciate it. Some authors may prefer a review over a follow, and although I enjoy reviews cuz I love to see your opinion on things, I also enjoy follows cuz it lets me know that people are bothering to read this. Faves are also wonderful cuz when I see that I received one, I think "Aw! You actually faved this? *whispers* I love you, baby." Because I always feel like my stories are terrible and seeing that people are actually reading them puts a smile on my face.

Anywhore, thank you to everyone who's reading this! *fights back tears* Why are you guys so nice to me? Haha.

Disclaimer: If I owned Attack on Titan, I wouldn't make it an immediate yaoi like some Ereri fans. Actually, I would never make it a real yaoi relationship. I would hint at it, make a bond between them, let you grow attached to their relationship and cry many tears over their good and bad times. I would even let you get frustrated as to why it /isn't/ canon, and then wonder furiously why they aren't together yet, and then, as they're nearing that point, getting close to each other and just bonding emotionally... I'd kill off Levi. Nooooo, jk, don't cry! I love Levi too much! He's Humanity's Strongest! *more gross sobbing* I... I could never ;A;

* * *

Eren was uneasy to say the least. He was uneasy and felt that his own overreaction with his worrying was inane and over thinking everything didn't help him in the least. But what could an average teenage boy like himself possibly be worried about? About how his team lost a game on tv? About being afraid if that one girl reciprocated his feelings or not?

Quite the opposite actually.

That one "girl" did very much have romantic feelings for Eren in which he really couldn't say the feeling was mutual. He knew he'd be lying if he did.

Now she wasn't ugly. Eren was well aware that he didn't so rudely lie to her because of her looks. It just kind of happened. He just happened to lie through his teeth before his mind even registered what was spilling from his lips. He just didn't feel in any way attracted to her and for some reason he couldn't discover _why_. Maybe her persistence was a huge turn off, at least, that's what Eren believed was the case. He hoped that was the case, but this insisting part in his brain assured him that it wasn't, and that he was simply in a stage of denial. And while one half of his brain told him that, the other half was swelled up with worry. Not necessarily for the "girl" in particular, but for his friends' growing suspicions.

"Eren."

Said boy's eyes snapped up from his tray of food, gaze training on Mikasa who sat there with a questioning stare, a single thin eyebrow raised to match the feeling.

"Are you okay?" She inquired, voicing her concerns.

Within Eren's head, he faced his own qualms with his choice and wondered how he would end up solving this issue, but obviously chose not to voice a single thought other than his own reassurance to Mikasa that he was okay. "I'm fine," he said, and although his words weren't elaborately laced with confidence in his statement to remove Mikasa's doubts, Eren hoped that his adoptive sister would buy it for the moment.

Eren's gaze dropped back down to the very unappetizing meal the district distributed to the public schools. A look of deprecation crossed his countenance as he eyed what he assumed was... spaghetti? Well, it _looked _like spaghetti, so it must be spaghetti, right? And although that seemed like a fair enough assumption, Eren decided to back down on that mindset. A burger he had tried, also provided by the school system, had sure _looked _like a burger, but it definitely tasted far from it. Though, Eren wished not to bask in that memory for he could still remember the odd taste that lingered in his mouth as a result of that meal. Actually, it wasn't even a meal, more like a simple regrettable bite. County food always tasted so horrible.

From peripheral vision, Eren could make out the questioning look Armin shot to him. Were they really catching on that fast? Eren figured he wasn't very good at lying about these things. "I told you, I'm fine." Though no one ever said he wouldn't try.

Armin quietly poked at his food (because really, who in the right mind would eat that?) as Mikasa still stared at Eren. "Then what happened yesterday?"

Geez, can't a guy go out and get a fake boyfriend behind the backs of his friends in peace?

"I was with Hanji," well that part wasn't a lie. "She needed help on a science project," now there it was.

"Science project," Mikasa echoed, a thinly veiled look of suspicion flashed in her eyes resulting in Eren to feel a pang of worry in his gut.

"Ah, yeah. I promised I'd help her with it."

Armin had even taken another chance to glance over at Eren. His eyes practically called out Eren's lie, although the blonde had yet to say anything. It's not like they were even fully aware of what was going on, they were just much rather suspicious.

Eren's gaze broke from Mikasa's, for her stoic eyes were practically boring into his soul, tearing his excuses down one by one until they reached the truth. In fear of his adoptive sister miraculously pulling that off for her own sake, Eren tore his gaze away as his eyes landed on none other than Hanji, who sat at a few tables not too far behind from Mikasa. Said brunette was grinning, waving him over because it seemed like she had _something _to say.

Eren lightly shook his head in response for a "no" because he really couldn't go over there right now. Not with his friends questioning his every move. And by every move, he meant _every move_ because Mikasa's gaze suddenly narrowed as she whipped her head around.

Eren knew that if Hanji was still calling him over like a babbling idiot, then his two friends would have caught on. They still wouldn't know _what _exactly the issue was, but they would have damn well found out that Hanji had a hand in it somewhere. And if that happened, then Eren was sure Mikasa would interrogate said brunette until she told her every little detail.

But Eren got lucky. As soon as Mikasa whipped her head around, Hanji was back in her seat engaged in a simple conversation with one of her other friends. Eren couldn't help but mentally sigh in relief at the save, but it seemed like Mikasa held back no suspicions.

"Who were you nodding at?"

Mikasa was persistent, very persistent. To some it may seem very annoying, and Eren had to admit that he did occasionally have an indignant attitude towards it when Mikasa acted like so, but he knew that she meant no harm. He knew that persistence served as her own odd way of insuring protection over Eren.

"No one," Eren assured, giving a weak smile that was supposed to serve as an ersatz grin of confidence.

Mikasa didn't look persuaded though as she eyed Eren suspiciously. Eren assumed she didn't have anything more to say though as her seemingly blank eyes dropped down to her tray of food. "If anything's wrong, then don't be afraid to tell us." Apparently she did have at least a little bit more to say.

Eren could practically feel the mental walls he built against Mikasa's guilt tripping erode at her current kind statement. He found himself only nodding lamely in reply.

"Eren!"

Said teen's gaze snapped from his adoptive sister to his crazy friend, who apparently decided that it would be a good idea to directly approach him. Eren had to bite his tongue in order to stop himself from chiding Hanji for making such a sudden move. Was she stupid? Oh wait, she's talking. Eren figured it would probably be better to listen.

"... and it's due sooner than expected, so I really need your help."

Eren gave her a confused look, eyebrows scrunched up in display of the emotion.

"For the _project_," Hanji emphasized, shooting Eren a look that obviously questioned his intellect.

Eren still looked a bit confused before the issue practically smacked him in the face. "_Oh_." His sea green eyes widened in understanding before he looked to Mikasa and Armin. "Right, right. Sorry guys, I gotta go help her out." Eren stood up, grabbing his flimsy tray as the stepped out of the bench he currently took seat in. "Um, see you guys later." And with that he rushed back to Hanji's table, dropping his untouched food in a nearby trash bin during the small trip.

As Eren walked beside Hanji, he could practically feel his two friends staring at his back as he left. And surely enough he felt as though those two pairs of eyes were searing his back, leaving third degree burns of suspicion in their wake.

"They're staring, aren't they?" Eren mumbled, tone low as he sat across from Hanji, back still turned to Mikasa and Armin.

"Yup," Hanji said with a nod as she procured a thick binder from her bag. "Lets just get to _work_." She flipped open the binder, and Eren mentally noted that damn was it messy. Weren't binders supposed to keep your things organized? Hanji flipped through a couple of pages which obviously weren't work at all. Just doodles of giraffes and unicorns. Really, how did Hanji always manage a 4.0 GPA?

As Eren looked up from the mess that was her binder, his eyes met with Hanji's. Eren noticed that proverbial look in her eyes that silently signaled a wicked idea. He sighed as he already began to prepare himself for the bad news that Hanji was bound to bare. Though the splitting grin on her face seemed like she thought of herself as an Oracle who only graced her followers with the best of advice. Eren momentarily opted on whether he should refute to that or not.

Instead, he went with his own inevitable question. "What did you do?"

"I just made you a date," she said as her grin failed to falter.

"What?"

"Yup," Hanji nodded. "Tomorrow you and Levi will be meeting the girl who forever yearns to have your heart."

"Hanji! You didn't really..." Eren shook his head, a look of doubt consuming his features before realization and fear quickly over washed it. "You didn't," Eren muttered, eyes trained on his bespectacled friend in disbelief.

Hanji nodded, "I did." Her eyes flickered down to her binder before they shot back up to Eren. "That's why, as soon as school is out, you and Levi will be practicing your boyfriend act."

Eren just stared at her. Why was she rushing everything? In a way, he too wanted to get this over with, but was it really necessary for Hanji to suddenly make the next move like that? "I'm not ready though, Hanji!"

"Well you're gonna have to be," Hanji said, eyes going a bit serious for a second before she perked back up into her usual cheery mood. "It's gonna be fine! Don't you worry your pretty little head!"

Eren chose to ignore the fact that Hanji referred to him as pretty as he incredulously stared at his friend. Was she serious? Eren wanted to bang his head into the table, but the rest of the students around and the suspicious looks of his two best friends stares still searing into his back stopped him.

Again with the obvious conclusion that Hanji is indeed crazy.

xXx

"Why did I even agree to this?"

Hanji scoffed. "Oh, Levi, cheer up!" She closed the door behind herself with a kick of her foot as her eyes trained on the two boys in her bedroom. Maybe any other girl would have figured they were going to get the best lay of their life, but Hanji on the other hand was hoping she'd miraculously _witness _the best lay of _their _lives. "After tomorrow you'll be home free!"

Levi rolled his eyes as he plopped down on Hanji's bed, which he unhappily noted wasn't made. "Whatever, shitty glasses."

Eren awkwardly stood to the side, eyes scanning over the little push dolls and figurines that sat at Hanji's desk. He figured it'd be best to keep a fair proximity away from Levi because said male always seemed pissed.

Hanji didn't seem to care though as she plopped on her bed right next to Levi. "What are you guys waiting for? You're acting like awkward sixth graders at a dance." Her eyes flickered to Levi, who was studying her room in disgust. She prayed for a nice funeral as she dared to grab Levi and give him an encouraging push to stand up. "Come on! Get dancing!"

"You shitty glasses!" Levi hissed, very much tempted to punch her in the face.

Hanji receded in fear. "Okay, okay! Sorry!" The brunette apologized in attempts to placate Levi. She sighed in relief as he lowered his fist, though she knew he'd never hit her. "But seriously guys," she began, eyes focusing on the two boys who still stood an awkward distance away from one another. "You really can't expect to wing this whole act. We've gotta start somewhere!" She tapped her index finger to her chin in thought. "Also, Levi, did I mention that you two will be meeting her tomorrow?"

"Are you fucking serious?" Levi looked like he wanted to drop everything and leave the room, and honestly Eren knew that wouldn't cease to surprise him if that event did occur. "Why didn't you say so before?"

"Well, I did tell Eren."

Levi's glare shifted to Eren as said teen could've sworn he was visibly trembling under the fiery stare. "You brat, why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I barely found out today too," Eren replied, a bit annoyed although the sound of fear wasn't completely clear from his tone.

Levi sucked his teeth as his gaze shifted back to Hanji, who still remained seated at her bed. "Okay, now how the fuck are we supposed to do this?"

"By acting like boyfriends," Hanji replied obviously. That was the role though, being fake lovers. What more was there to it? "You need to practice holding hands, hugging..." a perverse gleam flashed through Hanji's eyes, "Kissing."

Eren sputtered and Levi choked on air. Really though, what were they expecting? They were playing as fake lovers.

Hanji laughed, flicking her wrist in momentary dismissal to that bit. "Not yet though, so no worries." She grinned as she pushed up the bridge of her glasses. "For now, I mean." The brunette clapped her hands together as she hopped up from her bed with a cheerful bounce. "But for now, why don't we start with pet names?"

Levi glared at Hanji, mentally willing her to be stricken by lightening.

"Or not. Okay, why don't we practice hand holding?" She chirped as she studied the looks that now consumed the two boys' features. Oh, this was too fun.

"You expect me to hold this brat's hand?" Levi folded his arms as he glared at the aforementioned boy.

"Well, what did you expect when you agreed to be my fake lover?" Eren inquired before he even knew what he was saying.

The glare shot Eren's way made said teen hope to see another day. "What did you say?"

"Okay!" Hanji cut in when she deemed things to be deviating from the desired path. "Let's not get into an argument. I mean yes, couples argue, but it seems like you two have got that part down a bit too well." Hanji looked off, stuck in thought as Levi didn't fail to glare at Eren for his previous comment. "Okay, I've got it!" Declared Hanji, snapping her fingers. "Why don't you two get to know each other a bit more?" Eren and Levi simultaneously shot Hanji questioning looks. She waved it off as she continued. "Okay, I'll give you a question and you two tell me how you feel about it."

Eren nodded as Levi just rolled his eyes, muttering a "whatever".

"Okay! Cats or dogs?"

"Cats obviously."

"Dogs!"

Levi gave Eren a questioning look. "Seriously, brat? Dogs?"

"Well, yeah. Why not?" Eren shrugged. "I mean dogs are nice, and loyal, and..." _always happy to see me unlike other people I know _"cute," Eren finished off.

Hanji's gaze shifted to Levi, who scoffed in response to Eren.

"Cats are easier to handle, and independent, and" _not so damn needy unlike other people I know _"calm," Levi muttered, glare not leaving Eren.

Hanji could practically feel the menacing vibe as she let loose an awkward laugh. "Okay, enough with that one. How about the Olive Theory!"

"Olive Theory?" Eren muttered, eyes visibly questioning Hanji because where the hell did she come up with this stuff?

"Yeah! Okay, just listen." Hanji smiled, looking to the two boys in front of her before she continued. "How do you two feel about olives?"

"They're gross," Eren and Levi muttered with disgust in unison.

"Damn it," Hanji sighed. "You guys are being difficult, you know that?" She moved away to sit back on her bed because for some reason she felt physically drained. Probably because the two were being so damn difficult. Hanji sighed in relief at the plush comfort her bed provided her body with as she laid back and practically sunk into the mattres and blankets. Hanji blew a lock of thick hair out of her face in exasperation. "The Olive Theory is when one lover likes olives while the other partner hates them, resulting in them giving their olives to their lover. Which is basically like a bond between them through their like and dislike to olives. The partner that hates olives is meant to give them to their partner who happens to love olives. Boom, spiritual bond over olives."

One thing Levi and Eren could share in common though was their serious wonder over what the hell was wrong with Hanji's head.

Said brunette was determined not to give up though because she sat up, a confident gleam in her eyes as she seemed to have recuperated. "Okay! Just try to hold hands!"

Levi stared at Eren with clear disgust while said teen awkwardly looked away.

"Levi, hold his hand," Hanji said, repeating her request in slight irritation.

Levi rolled his eyes as he presented his hand to Eren. "Oi, give me your hand, shitty brat."

"No, no, no! That's not how you do it!" Hanji jumped from her bed in frustration as she smacked Eren's hand away from Levi. Apparently Eren was fine with obliging to Levi's rude request which Hanji found not to be okay. Levi really didn't have an ounce of romance in him, and Eren didn't seem to care, or he was too afraid to say anything. Hanji wasn't sure. Said woman groaned as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "You've gotta be sweet about it! You can't call him a shitty brat, Levi. And Eren, you can't let him call you a shitty brat!" Hanji took a deep breath. Damn, this was harder than she thought. "Okay, let's try again. Levi, hold Eren's hand."

"Oi, give me your hand, shi-"

"No!" Hanji threw her hands up in frustration. "I already said that's not how you do it!"

"Then what the fuck do you want me to do?" Levi snapped back, bristling with irritation. "Do you want me to get down on one knee and fucking ask for his hand?"

Eren sighed. "Hanji, this isn't gonna work."

Hanji nodded in his direction, acknowledging his point although she wished she didn't have to. "Okay, not all couples always hold hands." Hanji stood there, thinking for a moment before her eyes looked back over to Levi and Eren. "Okay, try hugging."

"Why am I even here?" Levi muttered, tone thoroughly laced with annoyance.

"Because a crazy girl likes me and I need your help," mumbled Eren in response. He really hoped this would be over soon.

"Are we forgetting about that hug?" Hanji chipped in, eyes trained on the two boys. "Come on, get hugging."

Eren looked to Levi awkwardly, while said male sighed in irritation. He opened his arms for the taller boy. "Hurry up," the muttered, "shitty glasses desperately wants to see a hug, so come on already."

Eren bit his lip as he inched closer to Levi, bit by bit before he awkwardly embraced him in a stiff and terribly odd hug."I feel like I'm hugging a fucking corpse," Levi muttered, breath ghosting by Eren's ear which resulted in said teen only to stiffen up more. But what did Levi expect him to do? Happily jump into his arms with gusto for the embrace? Eren figured that would be all around awkward. "What do you have to do? Shit?"

"No!" Eren retorted, slightly embarrassed. "Why would you assume that?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

Hanji visibly deflated in defeat as the looks of the hug fell under the category of a fail. The brunette gave a resigned sigh as she rubbed her temples for she felt a migraine coming on. These two completely lacked lover's potential. "You guys can't get along, you can't hold hands, and you can't hug." She ran her hand through her hair as she looked back up to the two. "Can you kiss then?"

Eren seemed determined as he tried to shove his own awkwardness away into a forgotten corner in his mind. "We can try."

Levi's scowl immediately snapped to Eren. "Really, brat?"

Before another petty tiff could break out, Hanji cut in. "Why don't you two try that? Kiss."

It wasn't as easy as it seemed though. Eren glanced to Levi as he mentally questioned who the hell was even supposed to initiate the damned kiss.

"Come on, Eren!" Hanji piped up. "You gotta pull this off unless you want that girl to find out you were lying! By the way," Hanji continued, "I saw her pestering you again today."

"And you didn't help me out?" Eren questioned indignantly.

"Well, no. After you managed to get away, that's when I set up the date for tomorrow." Hanji added, eyes still trained on Levi and Eren as she awaited the impending kiss.

Eren groaned, "Really, Hanji? How could you even-"

"Okay! Enough about me!" The brunette laughed awkwardly. "Just try to kiss, alright? You gotta have at least one thing down otherwise she won't believe you!"

Eren had half a mind to just tell the girl what was up, but then that'd mean that he would be made out as a jerk and a fool in front of everyone. _Damn it, what have I gotten myself into?_

Eren sighed as he looked to Levi, who looked down at the unvacuumed carpet in disgust. For one thing, he definitely wasn't as focused on this issue as much as Eren was. Said teen took a deep breath. "Come on, let's give it a shot," he said bravely as he looked to Levi.

"Tch, whatever."

Hanji sat on the edge of her bed, grinning ear-to-ear as she finally hoped her desired request would play before her eyes.

Everything was awkward, and weird, and seemed to move in slow motion as Eren inched closer to Levi in attempts to initiate the kiss. Though he kept stopping every couple of seconds, both Hanji and Levi noted, it kind of looked like how a teenager had their first experience in driving, hitting the breaks every three seconds in fear of crashing.

"Just do it already, brat." Levi spat, irritated with the slow progress.

"Well I would if you tried too!" Eren immediately shot back without any recognition for what he had just said. Maybe because he just felt nervous over the dumb kiss.

Levi sighed. "You're really stupid." Without any warning on the impending move, Levi grabbed Eren by his face and pulled him in just as Eren decided to gain the courage to dive in for the kiss. And then everything was a quick flash of fumbling hands and collided foreheads.

Both quickly receded from each other in pain as they gripped their aching foreheads.

"You fucking brat," Levi hissed through his teeth as Eren lamely nursed the potential bruise on his forehead.

Hanji swore she could hear her own heart break as yet another fail had taken place. "No!" She cried as she threw herself back on her bed. "We almost had it too!"

Neither Levi nor Eren had an ounce romance in themselves and Hanji furiously wondered how these two would manage to pull this fake lovers act off by tomorrow.

Hanji lay in her bed, immobile as defeat consumed her. "You guys really are hopeless."

* * *

As always, I get lazy by the end of the chapter, so it normally starts to suck by then. I did not think this chapter through at all either so sorry if it was really bad and if things didn't quite make sense v.v Plus I'm typing this up at 3am yet again and I have no idea what I'm doing '-' And for some reason, I feel like I'm gonna end up disappointing you guys with this chapter. I'm sorry.

I'm also sorry if this chapter seemed kind of rushed, I felt like I was making it too long. It's just that I was feeling really upset and (as lame as it may sound to some people) writing is kinda like a stress reliever to me, so I just kept writing because I was feeling kinda down. Well, enough about me, um, just cuz I'm curious, do you guys mind the chapters being this long? Or would you prefer them being shorter like before?

By the next chapter, I think Levi and Eren will meet the girl. Ah, this story is such a fail, but I don't care. I'm just going with it. Again, thank you for taking the time to read this even if you don't review, fave, or follow, I still appreciate that you've bothered to read this far! Thank you for putting up with this (bs) story! Ah, I feel so drained. Although this chapter wasn't really good, do you realize how long it had taken me to type this? Halfway through, I was tempted to just give up, but you guys motivate me to continue, haha. Also, I'm gonna randomly throw in that I feel that my characterization for Eren isn't even a tad bit right, ha. But I'm a rebel, so I don't care s('-' )z (jk, I'm just lame .-.) Other than that, my apologies if this chapter wasn't to your liking.

Also, bonus points if you know where the Olive Theory is from.

-SweetMelloJello


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